Another Sleep Study...Different Results

I've been far too run-down in the last several months, to the point that I could not work at D.I. any more, along with some gastrointestinal issues. I have been bouncing from doctor to doctor to find out what is going on and one of them was my sleep specialist which suggested a lab sleep study to see if it is part although not all of my problem.

It turns out that I have developed sleep apnea and low oxygen saturation during my REM sleep. For both of these issues a CPAP machine is considered the gold-standard therapy, so now I have to sleep with a mask on.

I was afraid it would take me several weeks to get used to it but now, two weeks in, I am sleeping better than before and I am starting to see positive signs that it is helping, although not with my gastrointestinal issues. I have become impatient for it to reduce my daytime sleepiness enough that I can function throughout the day without having to take two or three naps... Unfortunately it could take up to three months for that to happen.

Dealing With Social Isolation

Social isolation during the COVID-19 outbreak is going to be harder for some than for others. Because of my health problems I've become somewhat used to social isolation, but it was very difficult for me at first. I don't know if I can help others deal with it, but these are some of my ideas.

If you are religious, pray and meditate, if you aren't, just meditate. Studies have shown the effectiveness of both in reducing stress and increasing well-being, among other things.

Keep yourself socially connected virtually, but be very careful to avoid the toxic areas of the internet. Early on when I had to start staying home instead of going out, I spent a lot of time on IRC and Usenet. These are largely supplanted by modern social networking and forums, which can be both good and bad, just like IRC and Usenet was (and is). Find forums for your interests and avoid the comment sections of YouTube and most online articles. Definitely avoid news sites that are sensationalizing current events.

Focus on the things you can still do, but don't try to do them all at once. Set a schedule, making sure to include both chores and things you enjoy, and pace it out. In the beginning of my social isolation I made the mistake of engaging in marathon reading sessions over days or weeks and that left me feeling empty, more isolated, and frustrated. It was only when I learned to limit my reading sessions to a few hours at most, and make time for other things—especially the important things like daily chores—that I started to feel more balanced. I also found people online that I could talk to about what I had been reading.

Distraction can be a useful tool if you are experiencing anxiety about the current situation, but it won't eliminate the anxiety, especially if distraction becomes avoidance. It is better to find a way to keep updated without being overwhelmed, and don't excessively research! There is such a thing as excessive vigilance, and it will feed anxiety like nothing else. And remember what I said about avoiding sensationalized news.

Try to find ways to help others who might also be struggling with isolation. Maybe you can set up a conference Skype call among friends. Maybe you can donate a 1-month subscription to a streaming site to someone who can't afford it. Or donate money directly to non-profit organizations that may be impacted. For example, homeless shelters aren't prepared for this situation. Is there a way you can help them? Leave a comment below with your ideas.

Make sure you're getting enough sleep, and enough water. Don't excessively exercise or neglect your exercise routine.

Try to be extra patient with each other. Those slightly annoying little habits of others can become major irritants due to extended close proximity, if you let them. Be forgiving. Be apologetic. Be kind.

Cold Hands, Exhaustion, a Sleep Study, and HTML Editing

For the last six months or so I have been struggling with severe fatigue. It doesn't matter how much I sleep, how often I nap, I'm exhausted and struggle to stay awake and coherent. Thinking things through now takes me significantly longer than it used to, and I struggle to make decisions. This is quite frustrating, even demoralizing, and the fatigue seems to exacerbate my anxiety.

I've talked to three medical professionals about it, and none of them, as yet, know what the problem is. The first one all but dismissed it. The second one ran some tests and referred me to the third one. The third is a sleep specialist who sent me home with a device that measured my respiration, pulse rate, blood oxygen, and movements.

Sleeping with equipment strapped to my body was an interesting experience. It wasn't bulky, but it was there and its presence caused me to struggle to sleep most of the night. It was only after I returned the equipment to the sleep lab that they warned me that if they didn't get good data they would have to repeat the test. If they got good data I will learn the results in one to two weeks, at which point I get to schedule a follow-up.

I really hope they have answers for me and it's treatable, because I'm starting to understand why sleep deprivation is considered by some to be a particularly cruel form of torture, not that I'm anywhere near what people who have gone through that had to deal with.

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I've also been dealing with uncomfortably cold hands for a few years now. I had this problem when I was younger but it mostly went away, unless I went out in the winter or handled cold or freezing items, but now it's a near constant issue, and I'm wondering if it's somehow related to my fatigue and anxiety. As it is I keep my rooms warmer than most people prefer—between 75°F and 77°F—and a friend made me some fingerless gloves to wear to try to help. I've also talked to doctors about this and for the most part they don't know what to think of it. One suggested I might have Raynaud syndrome, but my symptoms don't really fit that diagnosis.

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I spent some time this week working on my HTML editing macros for Vim. I hadn't touched them for almost 8 years and it was time to finally add HTML 5 compatibility, fix some issues, and so on. I've probably spent too much time tinkering with this, but it was fun and hopefully it's useful to someone out there.

On Support Networks

Having a support system is important for everybody, but it's critical for those who struggle with physical and mental health problems. I probably would not have survived to this point in my life without my support network; my family and friends are very important to me, and I deeply appreciate them.

I struggle with the need to depend on others, and even after years—decades—I still find myself trying not to lean on others when I should be asking for their support. Relying on others, even when whey they genuinely want me to depend on them, is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn in my life.

I try to be supportive of the people in my life, not because I feel like I owe it to them, but because I genuinely care for them and want their happiness. However, sometimes I feel like I take more than I give and I fear people will resent me for it. I don't hold it against anybody if they tell me they need a break from the challenges I present.

There have been plenty of people who have come into my life and gone not long afterward, and I wonder if my individual struggles and needs drove many or most of them off. I'm sure there have been some people that just couldn't be what I needed—or I couldn't be what they needed—and I regret that.

There are some sources of support that I need to learn to utilize better, such as the support systems my church has developed. I also need to learn better how to ask for help, and to recognize what my needs are, especially those that others can help me with.

There was a time when my support network was a lot weaker than it is now, and it made me appreciate how difficult it can be for those that have little or no support in their lives when they most need it. My heart goes out to those who struggle and suffer.

To those who have been there for me: Thank you. To those I have failed: I am sorry.

Clean Air, Clean Mind: Study Ties Air Pollution To Depression, Suicide Risk:

The study used data from 16 countries in what authors say is the first systematic review and meta-analysis of links between fine particulate matter — small airborne particles including dust and soot — and various mental health problems. By the researchers’ calculations, if the relationship between depression, suicide, and air pollution is causal, then lessening the world-wide average exposure to fine particulate matter from 44 micrograms per meter cubed (μg/m3) to 25 μg/m3 would cause a 15% reduction in the global risk of depression.